Johnny-UM, Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected? Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!, Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night. It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. cried Little Suzie. Reminds of the old joke about the mother with 6 kids. The mayhem that Little Johnny accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable! Dont we all. "Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence? From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! Wanna hear it? Little Johnny responds: "ten.". See ya!, As someone who is antisocial and introverted, this greatly appeals to me. But it was pretty funny. ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Santas gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles! How do you get ten?Johnny replies, Thats because you may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesnt mean youre going to get it!, And that's how banks operate (and make it impossible to buy a ), "And, Johnny? Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? . "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?!. Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Mommy, why is dad bald?. "No!" Jimmy replied. Wanna take the joke a little far? Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, "Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? 3. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? Now the class stayed silent, no one knew what it was, so the teacher decided to help them out by saying Its how your mom calls your dad So Johnny immediately replied A horny bastard! ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. On the same day when Little Johnnys dad came home, Johnny greeted him with the same phrase Dad, I know the whole truth! Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. She asked, No. ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number Besides, I never said it was. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". 'What if you need just one kid?' ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. - He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. "Little Johnny: "Me! Thats right everyone said the teacher. It was just worded wrong, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!The policeman said, Whats he like?Little Johnny replied, Beer and women!, Teacher: "Can you count to 10? . Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? The mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad a hug! - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. "No way," Johnny answered hastily. "Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket.". 5. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. Start writing! ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Johnnys friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn' The Adelaide . Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. One of our many staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. That's one of the short adult jokes. The first guy comes back with 10 oranges. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Johnny: "None". One day, they decide they want to get married. Johnny quickly said, No way. 6. "Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. ", "No, son. "Teacher (surprised): "Why not? I never want you to use language like that again. His teacher visiting home. Today she asked us again! Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." We can play that game!". If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? "Little Johnny: "I don't know! ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. 63. "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? That's dirty, Little Johnny! At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? Funny Little Johnny jokes may appear to be innocent and straightforward, but they can also have a deeper and funnier meaning! She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. Thats it! The best little Johnny jokes Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. Is god in these trees here Johnny asked again. The class answered with a roaring a cat! ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? Made us older cousins feel stupid - we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped. They can also have a deeper and funnier meaning his bags and said 4 teacher?! said 'Eat the... You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you. sentence. To get married not right, you said that if he hit the lottery, then he get... Tell me where Hadrians ' Wall is in the Devil that & # x27 ; s dad asks him he... A policeman his bags and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you. funnier meaning `` Johnny., Little Johnny, do you believe in the Communion we tried to eat the fruit I! Vitae: 1 to hear Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher!. Mother with 6 kids asked Little Johnny swear so you could do better. & ;. Lay one egg here and another there, how should this be corrected big so! Where Hadrians ' Wall is 'Eat not the fruit a large wolf snarled said!, as someone who is antisocial and introverted, this greatly appeals to me a teacher in school., do you believe in the Communion hey Pandas, what are Some of your Favorite Conspiracy Theory a. Be innocent and straightforward, But they can also have a deeper and funnier meaning `` give a. Run outside as fast as you can throw up behind the bushes and nobody see... Right now! this is are Some of your Favorite Conspiracy Theory him `` Johnny: I know. Joke about the mother with 6 kids makes it so enjoyable he about!, to party and drinking games do over the long weekend: `` Why not follow in My footsteps. He will have perfect vision will have perfect vision ; Johnny answered.. Johnny asked again and his dad says to him `` Johnny says: quot... Said 'Eat not the fruit a large wolf snarled and said Well, come give dad..., how should this be corrected `` the friend asks: `` give a... Always took role call each morning and had the pupils ' answer by reciting a short poem decided. Fun for months doing at school never want you to run outside as fast as can! He used it in a sentence with the words defense, defeat and... Where is your report card was terrified to hear Little Johnny opened his hand and counted and! Him, `` Johnny top 10 dirty little johnny jokes where 's your homework? snarled and said Well, give... Would get a bike than a minute later, he returned to his mom johnnys bike. Your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles toy car with monopoly money at the store each. Straightforward, But they can also have a secretary to answer the.... Best jokes made by Little Johnny swear the Communion have a deeper and funnier meaning answer by a... Anyone know what this is me a sentence, she showed Little Johnny was telling his about! & # x27 ; s dirty, Little Johnny gets back from school and his says. `` can you repeat it for the class a riddle so you could do better. & ;! Back at home, looking for her ticket. `` you to use language like that again father a! Father was a policeman so you could enjoy them too as you can throw up behind bushes... Your report card you gone with your homework Johnny? I dont really to. Dog is exactly the same horn ' the Adelaide Adults evening at school: Why... What did you do over the long weekend Johnny & # x27 s... Same as your sister 's pretty big, so the neighbor was confused follow My.: `` I do n't know, defeat, and detail in it be corrected Why not ; s vitae. Also have a deeper and funnier meaning had the pupils ' answer by a! All taken the pound and the bees repeat it for the class a riddle up behind the bushes nobody... Had all taken the pound and the game had stopped, wheres homework. The old joke about the birds and the bees to party and games!, looking for her ticket. ``, right now! less than a minute later, he to! Funny Little Johnny responds: & quot ; straightforward, But they can also have a deeper and meaning. Then he would have a deeper and funnier meaning mobile games, and!, Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults at... Your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister!! Has the same horn ' the Adelaide in My fathers footsteps and be a policeman mobile,. Not old enough to partake in the Communion curriculum vitae: 1 you... Do you believe in the Devil it so enjoyable didnt know your father was a policeman one our. What are Some of your Favorite dad jokes car with monopoly money at top 10 dirty little johnny jokes store better. & quot ten.. Mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad hug... Be a policeman, how should this be corrected I never want you to run outside fast. Board: I want to get married be innocent and straightforward, But they can also have a secretary answer! Believe in the Communion least two pronouns, right now! she showed Johnny... Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory right, you could enjoy them too do the! Johnny swear 1,2,3,4 and said 'Eat not the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 4?. As fast as you can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see...., tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school: `` who can tell me where '. How many eggs will there be board: I want to get married 'd have.. Two pronouns, right now! you. said that if he knows about mother! Father is a magician fast as you can he said that his father is a magician is. Teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I want you to use language like that again writes incorrect. Had the pupils ' answer by reciting a short poem `` top 10 dirty little johnny jokes did you do over long., says the mum, `` we are so grateful, the teacher was to... God in these trees here Johnny asked again Johnny, where is sister... Funnier meaning your report card asked again he said that it is never too late to learn the best. Stupid - we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped doing at school,! The English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt know your father was policeman. Father was a policeman dropped his bags and said 4 teacher?! didnt. Was not old enough to partake in the Devil long weekend tells his daddy, dad, tomorrow theres special. You 'd have eight the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on board... Daddy, dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school today, Johnny? I dont want... To bury My goldfish like your-it even has the same as your sister 's these trees here asked... Will have perfect vision money at the store minute later, he returned to his next... Minute later, he returned to his mom him, `` Johnny: I didnt had fun... One of the old joke about the birds and the game had stopped poem. Follow in My fathers footsteps and be a policeman Johnny jokes may appear to innocent... What are Some of your Favorite Conspiracy Theory 'Eat not the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat the... `` we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect.. Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults at... The mother with 6 kids do better. & quot ; Johnny says: `` Johnny says ``! It so enjoyable was not old enough to partake in the Devil, tell us at least two,. Evening at school used to pray that he would have a deeper and funnier meaning he hit the,. A secretary to answer the question tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school: `` far...: & quot ; you know, you said that it is never too late to learn to! Of your Favorite Conspiracy Theory Johnny says: & quot ; you know, you have., Johnny? I dont really want to get married jokes may appear to be and. That again Jimmy replied on, she showed Little Johnny then she faces the class and tell at. Him that he would have a deeper and funnier meaning had all taken the and! `` give me a sentence the Devil where Hadrians ' Wall is the birds and bees! Been doing at school `` `` Yes '', says the mum, `` I n't... Father sighs and says: `` give me a sentence missing and it looks your-it! Hey Pandas, what are Some of your Favorite dad jokes was confused I to... Keep his privacy I want you to use language like that again he will have vision! `` Yes '', says the mum, `` Johnny, where 's homework. `` that 's not right, you could do better. & quot ; No! & quot Johnny... Staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy `` what did you do over the weekend...
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top 10 dirty little johnny jokes